Tuesday 7 February 2012

I don't want to seek attention so i guess this is the best place to bitch.

so today i didn't speak at all. like yesterday. i didn't even meet anyone yesterday. the day before, i only spoke to my parents on skype. I've been depressed since last Tuesday. don't know what the cause was but I've been unable to crawl back up again. I went to a slow food event tonight which I'd signed up for quite a while ago. I wouldn't have gone if i hadn't paid in advance. I didn't talk much there either. Lauren, who is one of the members, told me to "mingle" and tried to make me smile but i couldn't. Its like i don't exist in class as well. The psychology class don't interest me either. They started like 2 weeks ago and its depressing to think I'm going to study it for the next 3 years. then again, i don7t have anything else that i can do instead. i want to cut but i'm afraid i don't be able to stop for 5months again.
fuck this im going to bed.

4 comments:

  1. Hmmmm....psychology seems like an interesting field that could be used in many different areas. I considered it at one time but I was not very good at science. Why not just take any class that you feel like and forget about their stupid rules. That's what I did. I made my own curriculum and studied whatever looked interesting in no particular order until I found something I liked and people I liked. Fuck the system. Do what you want to do. Travel.

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  2. There's nothing that interests me. That's the problem.

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  3. Yo, I've been through the cutting thing too, and it is so not worth it. Dude, be antisocial if it gets you through the day. That's what I do. But I have an excuse cuz I have a mood disorder and sociaphobia. Seriously man, the world needs people like you to find the interesting things that no one else sees. Eat Pocky. That's what makes me feel better

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    1. Thanks. I'll take your advice and be antisocial until this depression goes away.

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