Thursday 28 June 2012

An article you should read.

It's worth reading because it includes meeeeeeeeeeeee
Read it here.

Friday 15 June 2012

Results for foundation!!!!!!

English                   78
Biology                   70
Foundation Maths    95
Maths 1                 96
Psychology            72

Overall                  82 (distinction)


I still don't know how awesome a distinction is, but the course manager said they were glad they had me. They said I brought something to the course and the person for the sustainability course next year is looking forward to working with me.
Now I have a firm place at uni of Exeter for Psychology and sustainability.

Monday 11 June 2012

Jubilee weekend

All I had was the foodie even in Topsham. The slow food people went to Topsham, which is about 20 mins by train (it actually took 45mins to get there on the first day because of...well, you know how it is in the UK ;P). The weather was miserable but we were there all day to sell mackerel in rolls (freshly caught) and cupcake decoration and tea towel and bags and olives. Wasn't as interesting as the foodie event in Exeter, but still, good experience.
The second day was just to have dinner with everyone. The special thing was that the table was lined really long. Hence the name, "Nello's Longest Table." 
I don't feel like explaining what it is, because i don't know the answer so here's the description on facebook:
Nello's Longest Table:
As part of the weekend celebrations for the Topsham Food Festival and as part of celebrations for the Queen's Jubilee, the highlight of the weekend will be Nello’s Longest Table, an evening celebration of food and friends in memory of Nello Ghezzo. For it was originally Nello’s idea to create an occasion whereby our whole community can sit down together to enjoy meals prepared from local and locally sourced foods at a single table stretching the entire length of Topsham Fore Street, on to Topsham Quay, and along the Underway at Ferry Road. 


Here are the photos:
Topsham Food event
Longest table

Saturday 2 June 2012

All the hot women happen to be

from Thailand.

And the men too. Why are these thai people so good looking?????
One of those life's mysteries....

Friday 1 June 2012

Conversation with Hannah


Hannah
hihey

Shane
heyheyhey
im so fucking lonely

H
why?

S
today i went to a sustainability conference.
and there was a lunch break.
i didnt want to socialise but tried my best.
i went over to a table where a bunch of people were talking.
i said hi.
they said hi
one guy said he recognised me from one of the slides in a previous presentation
and i said yeah i'm a part of the slow food soc.
and they continued their conversation
and i just sat there and ate my food
then in like 2 mins, they said they'll get some more food.
they never came back to the table.
i sat there alone for the entire 20 mins until the conference resumed
FML

H
*sighhhh*
Everyone is so anti social these days..

S
i tried my best.
the whole thing made me depressed again
I haven't been depressed for like 8 days.
quite an achievement, right?
i was completely fine before lunch.

H
Just
be happy
smoke pot or somthing
LMFAO

S
loll

H
T should be helping at least a little with depression
right?

S
idk

H
might be making it worse

S
no its not worse
hopefully

H
I wish we could meet

S
me tooooo

H
Would be interesting

S
im talking to my grandma right now
on the phone

H
oh
hows that?

S
i phone her every week
i think shes lonely
in a nursing home

H
oh
its nice that you phone her

S
shes worried that im getting fat

H
LOL
LMFAO
tell your grandma that she has no reason to worry

S
sleeping well
?
yeeeeeessssss
gawd my grandmothers really annoying
have enough freinds?
*sigh*
*ends phone call*
really, what kind of grandma asks if i have friends or not?
because the answer is obviously no.

H
lol
please tell me you didnt hang up on your grandma

S
no im not THAT rude

H
thank god
*relieved*

S
lol
i don't hate her. she's fine
but i don't like it when she asks if i have friends every single week.
and having to say yes every time she asks.

H
she just cares about you

S
yeah but still. its annoying.

H
I can see that
I want to get high, but I have stuff to do later...
and that would be irresponsible
-.-\

S
you want to smoke pot?

H
Lol yes I have a ton
but im not gunna smoke any till I get everything that needs to be done today
so that I am responsible
^^

S
thats like me saying i want to get high by cutting
i wanted to cut after the conference.
but i didn't.

H
cutting yourself and smoking pot are really different

S
because i shouldnt

H
o.o

S
different how?

H
um.. one is just for fun, the other is because of severe depression

S
i used to cut for fun.
as a part of addiction.

H
Lol, so cutting yourself was like going to disneyland?

S
yeah

H
Part of me is doubtfull, takeing sharp objects and slicing your arm open doesnt sound like very much fun for me
even if I am depressed

S
you get high from the endorphin.
and you have control over it which is fun
and its unhealthy, just like pot.
lol
i know your going to argue pot is healthy

H
No its not healthy
but its not the worse thing. cutting yourself is more damaging.
Alcohol is more damaging

S
cutting is worse than alcohol?

H
nono
I would say
Alcohol > cutting > pot
lol

S
oh good

H
but thats not the point.

S
oh
everythings bad then?

H
I guess I am just saying, that I am not depressed, and I dont care if its bad for me.. so why do you think its bad that im doing it?

S
because it damages your body

H
The only thing damaging about it, is that the smoke is really hot.
and can cause lung damage if done frequently
*sigh* I see pot as no big deal, and you see it as bad... we could argue about it forever..
neither of us are right.

S
yeah
i was just thinking the same thing lol
I've been reading this book called "overcoming loneliness and making friends"
depressing to read because it describes me really well.

H
how do you plan on fixing that?

S
i have absolutely no idea.
i get unhappy when i have an awkward situation like today
but when i'm alone, i'm completely happy.
although i feel really lonely and i think i should be with 'friends' like everyone else
i mean, why are other ex-classmates haning out with each other, and not me?
not that i really want to.
its a confusing feeling
i think i'll end up alone for the rest of my life if i don't change.

H
Yeah..
People who prefer to be alone, usually are very bored and lonely.
ide encourage making friends
if at all possible

S
I'm willing to.
but its like i can't handle friendships longer than 2 hours or during times everyone have to be in the same place.
like, i'd be friendly when I have class, but once the class is over, i just leave ASAP
so that i don't have to talk with people.
even its just 10mins of walking back to our rooms
i avoid a 10 minute conversation. thats hopeless.

H
well...... one thing that has helped me, is I force myself to stick around, and take deep breaths and relax
im pretty lonely too
I think we are alike in that way
I kinda just hang out by myself and prefer it

S
i'd do that. stick around. if i want required to say something.

H
Yeah.. well the only person who can fix it is you

S
i know.

H
So if your wanting to be less lonely, be more social

S
thats why i'm reading this book.

H
nice!
haha

S
i just wish i knew why i'm this way.
i used to have friends before.

H
Why do you think your less talkative?

S
lack of confidence?
lack of things to say?
lack of effort?
lack of caring to do so?
dysphoria?
probably all of it.

H
dysphoria?
you mean like gender dysphoria?

S
yeah
voice dysphoria.

What's going on

Today I'm going to a sustainability conference. Did I write that I changed my major from just psychology to psychology and sustainability? Well, i got a conditional offer and if I meet the requirements, I'll be doing that. Can't wait for the results to come out on June 15th. Will go back to Japan on the 16th and can't wait for that too. Meanwhile. I don't have any classes whatsoever, so I signed up for employability sessions which are supposed to make me more employable. And this weekend, there's a foodie event in Topsham, which I will be going to both Sat and Sun. I expect it will be a brilliant event, just like the foodie thing that we had in April.
I went to see my cousin/aunt/uncle last week (24th-29th). I always have a good time with them. At least I have some company while I'm there. When I came back, I felt so lonely again because I don't have friends. My cousin and I made a chocolate cake, and we cooked together a bit. Would have been nice if I had done more cooking with her though. My cousin Alex has epilepsy and she has to sit while she's cooking because she might fall down suddenly. She even burnt her hand last month (the burn still looked painful) because she had a seizure while cooking and spilled boiling water on her hand. She can't go out on her own and has to have her mum all the time. She's 26 and seemed frustrated that she can't move out. She's been taking medication for it but none of them have worked so now they are really considering surgery. But that the area of the brain is close to the bit that controls the right hand/leg movement. She said she'd consider surgery if the risks of going wrong was low, but if it was like 20% success rate, she wouldn't do it. Yet.
While I was there we watched movies and other DVDs and now I'm totally hooked on a sitcom called Miranda. You definitely need to check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm0oTo7waAA&feature=related


As for the queens jubilee stuff, theres going to be a tea party at the INTO building (where I studied) but its going to be the same time as the community garden party (theres a garden in the uni where we grow potatoes and corn and beans and herds and other plants)

That's pretty much it. After this weekend, all I have is employability stuff and the garden party. I'll go to the gym on days that I don't have anything to do. Oh and I've been jogging along the river recently. I need to lose some weight. I measured my BMI the other week and now I'm in the overweight bit. But I'll most likely lose quite a bit of weight during the summer so that's good.

Now I need to go to the sustainability conference. byeeeeeeeeeeee