Saturday, 20 August 2011

Don't let the photos fool you

 On the boat to Sidmouth on July 30th with (above) Elaine, Melody (both are classmates) and someone else. (below) someone, Miny(friend), and me.

 Jessie and me @ pizza party. She turned out to be almost gay. (And a self harmer judging from her left arm.)
Summer and me. When we had a picnic outside. Super cold.

Seems like I'm having a healthy social life, huh?
I think so too. But somehow I feel like I don't fit in with any group of friends. I get random friend requests from people who probably know me but I don't know/remember them. And I never hang out with anybody. I just see other people hang out with each other and say Hi if I pass by. I feel just as out of place as I felt in Japan. I'm supposed to be both Japanese and British. But it feels like I'm not welcome in neither countries. I would have thought it would be easier to make friends in the UK as there is more racial diversity. Guess I was mistaken.
Or maybe it's just me. I'm doing it wrong.
Or maybe I'm the kind of person who never has friends.
Or I could just admit that I don't like to be around people if I don't have to. And yet I want some sort of connection. With someone I can open up completely. Like my best friend from Junior High. Like my cram school teacher/nurse/friend. Like nobody at the moment.


  1. Hmmmm....the body language of those girls says something different especially Jessie. You need to booze it up with them a little. Beer = Life's social lubricant.

  2. What do you mean by different?

  3. Go have a few drinks with Jessie and see what happens.....
    Believe you me I have seen more girls kissing other girls (and more) than I have ever seen girls kissing boys in all of the various places I have worked. There is a reason for that. Add some alcohol and a relaxed atmosphere and there you go!
    Learn the fine art of massage while you are at it. The toughest cookie will crumble under a soft and talented touch.....

  4. I was saying to her that we should go to the gay bar together after our courses finish.
    I'm not looking for action with anyone. Especially Jessie, who had a break up with someone she had been with for 6 years...